The power of…

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In this article I’d like to explore a very powerful technique for stimulating motion when we find ourselves stuck within our patterns and some of the most common patterns I encounter as a spiritual explorer and coach. I think by the end of the article you will agree that a little re-framing…really can make a world of difference .

Three Easy Ways to Get Stuck:

Having All the Answers. It’s easy in the personal development world to fall into the trap of thinking you have to have all of the answers. I am constantly reminding myself that I am a learner and that learning and exploring is what I am here to do. Acquiring experience is simply a consequence of this fact.

We can get used to knowing so much that we begin to expect that this will always be the case and can get quite flustered when we find ourselves in a situation in which we feel a little lost. It’s the expectation we have of ourselves and the meaning that we attach to it, that puts us in this unresourceful state.

If I feel like I should already know everything, than I’m likely not to seek new experiences or learnings and those situations are likely to cause me a great deal of discomfort.

To give myself a new way of being with or experiencing learning I might re-frame my expectation with the words, I’m not lost I’m exploring or a true master is an eternal student.

Putting too Much Emphasis on the End Result. When you make plans to achieve goals, are you only concerned with the end result? Is every step you take to get there simply a means toward that end? Are you concerned with the quality of what you do or with what you think doing it will get for you?

If everything I do is simply to get me to someplace else than I’m not actually living my current life but instead I’ve empowered a future one that is linked with a very specific chain of events as my key to happiness…and what happens to me if that outcome never comes about. What if I did a really good job, my absolute best and it doesn’t happen? Do I somehow feel I fell short and failed? What is failure and success and how would I want to ideally define it?

Something that my Spirit has really been adamant about lately is teaching me where to place my energy in life. In the view of Spirit the outcome doesn’t matter at all because the only thing that exists is the present. If you are focused ahead you are not in the place where you actually have any power which is right now.

The place from which you make your decisions and function in the present is where you have the most control over any outcome. Often when you get this right, the outer world just lines up behind it…but even if it doesn’t, you will not be affected in the same way because your emphasis was on the form of your approach and the state from which you took action, not in the action itself. This is the place where you can fully control your own success.

Re-frame: The “how” is more important that the “what”.

Rules for Victories. Do you have a lot of rules in your life? Do you have a lot of desires? Are you the kind of person that really gets a lot of what you want but will only be happy if you get what you want exactly how you wanted it? Are your rules getting in the way of the joy you experience in life?

When we surround ourselves with complex rules we ensure that we will never have a reason to celebrate. In fact, one could say that we design the joy right out of our existence by putting so much of our energy on our systems of rules and regulations that we don’t have any left for the happiness that we think these rules will buy us. By allowing ourselves some flexibility, we can awaken with gratitude to the abundance available to us within the life that we are already living.

Re-frame: I get what I want in new and surprising ways.

Re-Framing Life Experiences

I’m not lost…I’m exploring, is a classic re-frame of something that most of us would consider an uncomfortable if not unpleasant experience.

Some time ago many people referred to me as impatient because of my strong desire to immediately experience anything I was excited about. I took that to heart and began to view myself through the lens of this word as well, until one day a friend heard me describe myself in this way and said, “You’re not impatient…you’re just enthusiastic and excited.”

The minute I heard it I knew it was true. I was really enthusiastic and my energy would come through so strongly that I literally bounced and hummed with it. From that time on I never again called myself impatient and now no one else does either.

Truth is, once I started labeling myself differently, I developed very quickly a new way of being with my own excitement that was much more fulfilling.

We can easily program in the beliefs and habits of our fathers, mothers, peers, etc. and carry the voices of their world views around with us for all of our lives if we choose…or we can question those voices and take up the challenge to provide ourselves and others with a more compelling vocabulary through which to view and interpret the world around us.

What kind of world would it be if all that we judged as being wrong in ourselves and others was offered back to us with positive re-frame?