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The Meaning of Tears

Here they come again. Wet, hot tears…streaming down my face, wracking sobs buckle me over and I wonder once again why this would be? After all I knew this was coming, Grandma showed me everything I could want to know and more…so why am I overtaken like this.

Why don’t you ask the part of you who cries? Knowing-ness queried. Hmmm, I hadn’t thought of that. So I drop down inside, identify the part and I ask, what are you trying to tell me?

Rising up in front of my face very close is a red faced little girl. She’s me and she clenches her fist in my direction and shouts, Don’t you ever forget how much I love her! Don’t you ever forget her!

I draw her up in my arms and comfort her. I know you loved your Grandma, I love her too. It’s o.k. I’ll never forget. As I make this promise the feeling sinks back down to the depths from which it came.

Looking for a Sign

The last time I spiritually saw Grandma was on the day she died. I’ve felt her and heard her but could not detect her with my spiritual sight. I wondered at this; unconsciously looking for a sign.

Grandma’s Message

Then while listening to a new CD I got for Christmas I received one. “She’s Too Much”, played and I experienced the rising tears again. I told the part, I’ll always remember her and I’ll always love her but there was something more the part wanted me to know.

As I tuned into it I saw Grandma standing there…swaying to the music singing…

she’s gentle to the touch
she’s everything head-first
so happy to be causing trouble
sometimes the pressure gets too much
and you think she’s going to burst
and shatter like a Xmas bauble

I’ll be there when the world is coming down upon her
when she’s scared I’ll be there fighting in her corner
I’ll be there when the walls are closing to surround her
in the air as she falls with my arms around her
holding on I’m looking out for her thin skin
because she’s everything - and I don’t think she knows

She’s such a gentle touch
She’s too much a gentle touch

she likes to catch the sun
plays with it like a ball
and never mind whatever keeps it burning
someday she might just be the one
who’s going to save us all
if this apocalypse is coming

I’ll be there when the world is coming down upon her
when she’s scared I’ll be there fighting in her corner
I’ll be there when the walls are closing to surround her
in the air as she falls with my arms around her
holding on I’m looking out for her thin skin
because she’s everything – but I don’t think she knows
I don’t think she knows

she is such – a gentle touch - I don’t think she knows
she’s too much – the gentle touch - I don’t think she knows
she is such – a gentle touch - I don’t think she knows
she’s too much – the gentle touch

Lyrics: Simon Le Bon
Music: Duran Duran
© 2007 Skin Divers

The Queen of Hearts

My Grandma’s spirit is strong, her presence is more like that of the angels I’ve experienced than any other energy I’ve encountered so far.

In life she was always a source of cheer, love and protection. It would appear from her message that none of that has changed